being 20+ on tumblr
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“You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.”
changing from jeans to pajama pants
Tagged: #leverage #parker #eliot spencer #alec hardison #oh god #this makes me so happy and sad at the same time #why couldn't they have renewed it with just the three of them or given them a spin off
because gaslighting (to a truly astonishing degree) and mental & emotional abuse defines their relationship
we’re presented early on with an Irene who’s supposedly been subjected to psychological tactics intended to destroy the victim’s sense of self. and we know that moriarty had someone who was skilled in that on her payroll
and then we discover she’s basically been doing that to sherlock
and her coming to him after his supposed OD is part of that, I think?
she didn’t want to kill him. she wanted him broken enough to remold into her creature
take away the self he had and replace it with one more amenable to her
and the temptation that she had succeeded and could step in and play out the “honeymoon phase” of a cycle of abuse was just too much
oh darling i’m so sorry. i never meant to hurt you like this. and the clincher: “i’m the only person you have. i’m the only one who understands you.” (so. fucking. classic.)
and the most sickening thing of all is that, while i think she was intentionally destroying his sense of self for her own purposes (she wasn’t just trying to get him out of the way; she had an end game of breaking him down until she could remake him in mind all along), it’s also true that (like so many abusers) the genuine feeling was there too
Holy shit, i didn’t even realize. Great commentary, and although it wasn’t specifically stated, yet another example of diversity on Elementary’s part, a woman being the abuser in the relationship.
I didn’t realize at first, either! We’re not taught to be aware of women as abusers and not trained to see how real and damaging emotional abuse can be. And they played it quite subtle.
It was when she said she was the only one he had and tried, again, to isolate him from his friends and get him entirely under her control that it clicked in my head. Though something really nagged at me when she’d earlier done the whole “you know you get like this” thing during her other attempt to isolate him — the way she was trying to make him doubt the reality before his eyes (esp his deductive instincts about people, which are such an important part of who he is as a person! if he doubts that, he’s being made to doubt everything he is) and his own sanity.
“one tiny thing that just struck me:
How far the show went out of its way to make it clear that Holmes wasn’t sexually pressuring Irene. He offered her his “bet,” and I can imagine a zillion other shows that just would have left it there as a sexy “edgy” flirtation, but no - Holmes stopped himself in the middle of the flirt to make it clear that he was not conditioning his silence about her thefts on her going on a date with him.
Similarly, when he came to see her after she refused to go out with him again, obviously someone somewhere was afraid he’d look like a stalker, and so he began his speech by making it very clear that he understood it was her right to refuse him - I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a show actually spell that out in words before, because we’re all supposed to understand that the romantic couple is meant to be and therefore all’s fair, etc etc.”
in a media landscape where men pressuring women and violating their boundaries is portrayed as natural in many ~innocent and romantic~ relationships and pretty much obligatory in ~edgy dangerous~ dynamics, I still love this to ABSOLUTE PIECES